The Confidence Coach

Happy the Lion Cat

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 21:26:00 GMT

Time to read: 425 words
How to Gain Confidence
Confidence can help in every aspect of your life. It can be gained or strengthened using some simple tips and techniques, which are explained in my new book, “Confidence the 7 Keys to Your Happiness.” Confidence is developed through experience. Once you master your skills and the ability to gain confidence through spaced repetition then your routine actions repeated day after day, become a leviathan of positivity.

Confidence is a relatively simple psychological tool that can power you forward to great things. So why is it so hard for most people to achieve self-confidence? In my opinion, a large percentage of the blame can be attributed to the fact that many people spend their early years actively attacking confidence and talking themselves and others down. They enjoy "pity parties." Some people stop this negative behaviour in their teens, others sadly continue throughout their lives. Why? Probably because of the unpleasant human instinct and belief that you can gain confidence for yourself by destroying the confidence of others. Not so.

Luckily, this particular human flaw can be turned around to work for you. Study the drawing above. It is one of a unique set of illustrations, "The Happy Cat Collection" created by Mark Edmonds for my new book on confidence. "Happy" the cat sees himself as a lion. Of course, when other cats look at Happy, they don't see a lion, they see a cat. However, Happy’s body language and demeanor declare to all the other cats that he holds himself in very high regard. The other cats think that Happy the lion cat is very self-assured and probably for a good reason. They do not doubt his confidence. After all, throughout his cat childhood; Happy the lion cat was thoroughly "tested" by all the other kittens - yet he maintains his self-confidence. Other cats do not question Happy's self-belief; they simply accept it. You can adopt a "Happy" positive attitude.

Confidence works as a self-fueling cycle; a self-perpetuating prophecy; either for the positive or for the negative. That is why once your confidence is damaged, it can be difficult to re-programme it back onto the right track. However, help is at hand.

Confidence we all have it, we all lose it... we all want it. Read more about how to be more confident in my new book available direct from me, (the cheapest and quickest method) or on-and off-line. Just drop me a line and we'll get your copy in the post... or download it from Lulu... Thank you.

You can follow this blog via my Twitter and LinkedIn updates.

New book NOW in stock

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 19:34:00 GMT

Time to read: 274 words

Whoohoo! We have just taken stock of the first consignment of "Confidence The 7 Keys To Your Happiness" ready for immediate shipment. We increased the book specification and caused the printer a challenge. However the outcome is an even better book - and you can NOW order your copy. For the next week, we'll honour the introductory price to TCI readers - just £12.00 including P&P. So just drop us a line with your details and we'll get your copy in the post straightaway. You can pay by cash, cheque, BACS, via PayPal in the Shop. If you wish to order or download via Lulu that is an option too.

In "Love your Life Survive the System," I used my experience from working in business and education to write a happiness curriculum for teachers. I’ve built on this success in "Confidence The 7 Keys To Your Happiness." Using stories, strategies and coaching techniques, the new book shows you how to the find passion to drive you forward. You'll read about how others conquered confidence challenges; how they overcame disillusionment, bolstered their self-esteem and successfully rode the roller-coaster of life. If they can, so can you.

The three lucky winners of the Free Prize Draw are Jane Shaw, Sarah Jones and John Bridle. We'll be in touch regarding the FREE teleseminar in due course. Your complimentary book is already on its way. Thanks to all of you for the kind referrals.
As you may know, we recently attended the civil ceremony of our son's wedding in Germany. There are seven photos here if you want to see the handsome couple. And if we are not yet linked on Facebook then let's make that happen.

Do you need... Professional coaching for you or your team? An empowerment speaker? A workshop facilitator or trainer for your next event?
Twitter: http://twitter.com/eilidhmilnes LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/eilidh-milnes/0/232/b23

The Confidence Report -Talk Confidence International

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 06:33:00 GMT

Eilidh reference your latest newsletter:
Drink a teaspoonful of white distilled vinegar to cure hiccups!

Distilled vinegar a more acceptable remedy than my late my grandfather's option of,

"standing on your head and drinking a a small tumbler of water!"

He also recommended a "mix of nutmeg and lard" for
curing hemorrhoids, but that's another story!

Off to Leeds to test a couple of guys on a pedestrian operated Tower Crane.

Regards
Mick Norton
www.cpcs-plant-training.co.uk

Travel with Vinegar

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 06:32:00 GMT

Time to Read: 331 words

Have you ever been stung? I was - last weekend. We were attending the BMW Festival at Gaydon. The wasps were swarming and one found me irresistible. It was very painful. The paramedic's simple treatment surprised me - apply vinegar and add an ice pack. She did not recommend proprietary medicines, much preferring a simple solution. Her action reminded me of a news report last year from our time in Australia. This is a link to a survival story of a young girl, who was saved by the quick-witted reactions of strangers. They saved her life by applying vinegar.

Straightforward approaches often work best. The acronym of KISS is a great maxim:

Keep
It
Short
Simple

Life is often over-complicated by sophistication. You can be tempted to buy in packaged remedies to your work/life issues, rather than looking at your problems and dealing with them straightaway in an easy and simple manner; while they are manageable and before they get out of hand. You too can use simple tools and applications that you have had to hand. I explore this theme in my new book... use a common sense approach; the common sense that is not always common practice... it could be your salvation and prevent a lot of needless pain.

In the past ten days, I've have had three enquiries to speak at conferences. Two are from public sector organisations and the other from a blue chip company. Despite the diverse backgrounds these clients, all want me to speak on similar themes:

how to be more confident in the current climate,
how to promote positive thinking,
how to to raise visibility.

All three have decided to purchase my new book, Confidence the 7 Keys to your Happiness and personalise it for their employees. I'll tell you more about this unique and exciting option very soon.

In the meantime, I'm off to stock up on Sarsons Malt :)

(P.O.I. for international readers - 'Sarsons' is probably the best known vinegar in UK)

And remember if I can help you in any way - just ask...

Teenagers speak out with confidence

Sat, 14 Aug 2010 16:11:00 GMT

Ever heard of Christian Owens? He is a 16 year old school boy from Corby... and he has used the internet to turn over his first £1M.
Yes there seems to be a theme going on here today, young people maxing out the internet.
Christian was inspired by Mac chief executive, Steve Jobs and then using his ingenuity and hard work Christian created his MacBundleBox to turnover his first £1/2M!
He uses MySpace to promote his services - more use of the internet to create review and interest.
Read more about Christian and his goals for the future: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1302771/Christian-Owens-schoolboy-entrepreneur-making-million-16.html

Eilidh Milnes
Conference Speaker, Writer & Coach

Teenagers speak out with confidence

Sat, 14 Aug 2010 09:16:00 GMT

There's more than one way of speaking out and communicating confidently.
Take for example Charlotte Samuel aka Chyaz, who has been dubbed the beauty guru. Chyaz has one 1M page views in YouTube and 5,000 plus subscribers. Charlotte is just 19 and posts almost daily as punkchyaz.
Check her out here:http://www.youtube.com/user/punkchyaz
And better still vote for her in the competition Simple Star (details on YouTube)
You could even enter the competition yourself or nominate a friend.

Eilidh Milnes
Conference Speaker, Writer & Coach

Meeting new people with confidence - Relationship matters

Sun, 25 Jul 2010 10:49:00 GMT

Janey Lee Grace hosted Sunday Lovesongs this morning. Today's fun survey was - "What does a woman find attractive in a man?"
The Number One quality according to askmen.com was CONFIDENCE. And I have to agree. When you consider my new book, “Confidence the 7 Keys to your Happiness” publishes in ten days you might expect me to endorse confidence as a vital component in the area of qualities and attractions.
Confidence we all have it, we all lose it and we all want it...
If a man knows exactly what women find attractive in men (and vice versa) then their job to win the hearts of women will become much easier. Philosophers, poets and psychologists have spent years of their lives in answering this simple question: “What do women find attractive in men?”

Here are 10 magical tips to win the heart of any women. Just follow the under mentioned golden tips and see miracles happening in your personal and material world... yes girls, these qualities are transferable :)

1. Be Confident
Women like men with confidence and drive. Confident men with an adventurous spirit are liked by women as they provide innovations in relationships.

2. Nice guys win
A nice, pleasant and good-looking man is always liked by women. Most of the women prefer stylish, organized and sober men over ill-organized and non-serious ones.

3. Men of character
A sound character is the key to a long-lasting relationship. An honest, trustworthy and decent man is always in demand in the world of women.

4. Fit
Most of the women find attracted towards strongly built, brawny men. Many women feel the need to be protected.

5. Smile!
A nice and balanced manly smile is always a huge turn on for women. If you really want to impress a beautiful woman then a warm genuine smile can be your best weapon.

6. Be yourself
The beauty of a man is in his masculine appearance. The beauty of a man lies in his natural look instead of a waxed body served with pedicure and manicure.

7. Funny guy
A good sense of humour combined with intelligence is always a huge relationship enhancer. Men with an enjoyable sense of humour are always considered good company.

8. Kid-Lovers
Women always like the men who find it easy to be with children. Women consider such men extremely loving, passionate and affectionate.

9. Moderation
Excessive smoking or drinking causes dangerous diseases and thus serves as a mammoth turn off for 99% of the women. They cause deterioration in health. Occasional drinking and smoking is not bad but excess of everything is bad.

10. Hardworking Men
Being able and willing to work hard is one quality which guarantees success in any field of life and success is always a turn on for all ladies. It isn’t all about money, but the ability to support a family, be independent and interdependent is a huge attraction.

Do you agree? Have I mentioned what you find attractive in the opposite sex? If not, do share...

Eilidh Milnes
Conference Speaker, Writer & Coach

Professional Speakers' Association (PSA)

Sat, 24 Jul 2010 18:17:00 GMT

Chris Davidson and I were discussing the merits and de-merits of microphones. My debate centred around getting the best sound quality from a conference recording.
Chris - an expert in such matters succintly put it this way:

1) You get mic'd up with a 'lapel' mic + transmitter and it's connected to the receiver, which is connected to the mixing desk, which is connected to the loudspeakers scattered throughout the room.

2) So far, so good.

3) You're being video'd - great.

4) Question - how does video chap get his/her sound?

5) Does it come from

(a) general background,
(b) a shotgun mic on stage,
(c) a shotgun mic pointed at a speaker, or....

6)....preferred solution of a second lapel mic + transmitter that you're wearing which transmits to receiver attached to video camera.

So many videos are sadly scrapped because of poor sound quality.

Thought his advice was worth sharing.

Eilidh Milnes
Conference Speaker, Writer & Coach

Teenagers speak out with confidence

Sun, 18 Jul 2010 15:34:00 GMT

Hey mama, only just picked up your email. You asked, "Can you give me 2/3 sentences... perhaps one of reflection of your time at the school and what it did for you?"

Just having a think!

Was quite a while ago now, think year 9 was when i had a few people being bullies..? can't remember, however ...

It wasn't always easy, pressures with exams and general peer pressure were always present, but looking back nearly 6 years ago it was all just practice for everything that comes in the future!
Half of my time in school has been re-played in adult form! If you learn to deal with "stress" (not that i ever did or do that!) and the different people at that age, it's a breeze later on!
Surrounding yourself with genuine friends - the ones that will stick by you through thick and thin - was my trick. Laughter, quality time with friends and support from them will see you through anything! Jess and i had our differences but that was just us growing and forming our own personalitities.
Don't take the world on your shoulders, learn to prioritise what is actually important - not everything has to be dealt with right now.
Family - you guys played a massive part in helping me through school.. famous dinners round the table... talking to adults helped put a realistic spin on things... you kept me cool headed!!
Since i've travelled i've noticed more that your schooling is massive - employers here will give someone a job here based solely on their school credentials!
Granted, there are more private schools here with big reputations but Sandbach Girls would be up there with them. So don't waste the opportunity thats given to you purely by attending the school.
Don't be afraid to be yourself. So much pressure on girls to be 'the holywood hero' ... it's not all its cracked up to be. Don't waste your time on trying to be someone else or fit into a role that isn't right for you. I tried to please others and do what 'everyone else' did but if i had chosen to pursue them and not me, i wouldn't have my life in Oz now!!
Have a school-life balance but at the end of the day you have to knuckle down and get school done and dusted - life will wait for you! Plenty of time for all the partying and socialite malarky afterwards. That's what all the teachers used to say, i thought they were just boring and old fashioned but at 22 years old i realise there were absolutely right!

Sandbach High was challenging at times but it was also great fun and holds some of the fondest memories of growing up and making friends. It has given me the opportunity to travel the world and when i think about that, well what else could give you more life experience than that!!

Hope that's what you were wanting?! bit of a snip-it of what i valued at school and how i see it years later :)
Enjoy speaking at Sandbach High School tomorrow, mum. I know you will.
Cat xx

More asking...

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 19:34:00 GMT

"Will you marry me?" is possibly one of the most important questions you will ever ask (or be asked.) Your life hinges on the response. Kyle will marry the beautiful Sarah Blum on July 31st in her home town of Fulda. He proposed to the girl of his dreams in style; to find out how simply re-arrange these words: ring, 5*, Venice, luxury, chilled, jacuzzi, champagne! Now doesn't that conjure up a romantic picture. Share their and happiness and savour for a moment...

We asked for help on Friday 9th July. I was due to attend the Urban Heroes Awards at with my friend Khumi Burton. Alas, it was not to be. A traffic accident got in the way. Fortunately, only egos and cars were damaged. But I ran the whole gamut of emotions as the incident unfolded; disappointment, frustration and utter disbelief as the recovery company made it clear that taking us home was not on the agenda. "You have to speak to your insurers," was the response. What happened to their 5* policy promises?

The driver did eventually agree to take us to the Cottons Hotel. The plan was to ask for the number of a local taxi company from the hotel reception. However, when Eloic Montagnier the manager of Cottons Hotel Knutsford realised our dilemma, he spontaneously offered to arrange a lift. He personally drove us home in his own car; a return journey of some 40 miles. What a kind gesture! Remember we were not guests at the hotel, merely travellers in distress. Eloic takes customer care to a new level. He was paying it forward.

Have I used Cottons Hotel before? Yes. Will I be using the hotel again? You bet! Will I tell my sphere of influence? I am doing so via this broadcast - telling thousands of people across the world. If you are in a position to use this hotel do so. It's great for business meetings, weddings and conferences. Remember to ask for Eloic Montagnier.

I have nominated Eloic for a Wow Award!

Business readers have asked me to highlight their services as a result of the last TCI broadcast. Chris Gibbons of Query Management was the first to contact me. Her business Query Management provides professional credit control and credit management services for small and medium sized businesses. If you need such services, why not check out Chris?

And if you want to post a comment just jump on the forum or email us and we'll sort it for you...And of course if I can help you ...

Ask!

Sat, 10 Jul 2010 20:31:00 GMT

We have just spent a fabulous weekend at the Goodwood Festival of Speed. Have you ever been to an event that you can look back on and reflect with pure pleasure? Perhaps you'd prefer to go to a music festival such as Glastonbury or attend a world class rugby match or go the world cup; but for this family of petrol heads, Goodwood was our perfect day out. And it is the Siverstone UK F1 weekend... so for us... deep joy!

We attended Goodwood on the corporate day feeling very special and privileged. The moving motor show was a true spectacle. We had been offered this wonderful treat courtesy of the exclusive car manufacturers BMW Alpina. And to make the day even more special, there was a unique track and hill test drive valued at over £1,000 in the brand spanking new B5! How did we come by this amazing experience? Our son Kyle, a besotted B5 owner, contacted Alpina head office in Germany and asked. Wow! And of course there was a fab goody bag and hospitality. Whoohoo! (click the test drive link and share out treat)

You might think Kyle was rather cheeky. However, he was rather bold and prepared to accept rejection. It's amazing what happens when you ask the world to help you - it often hugely surpasses your expectations. What have you asked for recently? What would you really, really like? Well why not trying asking someone to help you get it. I believe you create your own luck in life and you can start today by asking for what you need. Importantly ask yourself, "What can I offer in return to help someone else?"

I asked my speaking colleagues and PSA fellows board members, Alan Stevens and Will Kintish for help. Both Alan and Will recommended an advanced search on LinkedIn to help me find business contacts in Australia. Well this is a long story with a short finish - the outcome is this - I currently have at least three more people to meet in Brisbane in September as a result of asking. Hopefully I can develop working relationships with these relative strangers that will allow us to help each other. Do you know anyone in Brisbane, who might like to meet to explore business opportunities? If so, please forward them this email.

These broadcasts often close with, if I can help you in any way, just ask. And Gerry has taken up my offer of assistance. Gerry Lynch is an expert in dealing effectively with staff dismissals. Why not read more and see what Gerry Lynch has has to offer.

Don't miss the next post which will feature Eloic Montagnier the manager of Cottons Hotel Knutsford, who takes customer care to a new dimension...
And if you want to post a comment just jump on the forum or email us and we'll sort it for you...

And of course if I can help you in any way.........

Teenagers speak out with confidence

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 08:40:00 GMT

I just wanted to say thank you as the talk you gave at my school was so useful, and you were very engaging!! best talk of the day by far (: i cant wait for the publication of your book soon and shall get one as soon as possible!!

How to meet and network with strangers - Travelling Companions

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 18:55:00 GMT

Fantastic – see you soon – we are only up to £730 my son and I ... in savings ...

Have a brilliant day!

Derek
Derek Arden
www.derekarden.co.uk
www.derekarden.co.uk/blog/negotiation
www.twitter.com/derekarden
07980 241185

Take the Confidence Coach Stress Audit

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 15:42:00 GMT

One person’s stress is another person’s challenge. Stress is often viewed as a mental health matter however it is a complex issue and one size does not fit all.

The UK Health & Safety Executive definition of stress points out that while the reaction of the body to stress can lead to mental health symptoms, stress is not a mental health illness.

Stress is a set of reactions and responses,
The level of stress varies from one person to another,
Stress is nonetheless real for the person experiencing it,
So stress can have a significant adverse reaction to health and wellbeing.

An early warning signal is a change in behaviour; if your colleague becomes unpredictable or indecisive it may be time to take a stress audit.
You can download my simple and straightforward stress audit now:
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You can read facts from a case study here.

Emotions related to stress can be strange, volatile, and unpredictable. They do not always respond to logic and reason. They do, often respond to action. In my experience one of the best way to kill a negative emotion such as stress is to work it to death.

Almost nothing is as bad as it first seems, and there is nothing like a hard day’s work to put everything in proper perspective. If you begin to feel negative emotions, dwelling on your misfortunes only makes you feel worse. Do your best to put them out of your mind and think about more positive, constructive things.

Physical labour can help. Choose a task that doesn’t require a great deal of your concentration - or your mental capacity - and then focus on accomplishing that activity. Physical exercise can help too - a run, a cycle ride or a gym workout are all good forms of displacement therapy.

People who take regular exercise also tend to be happier. Research shows they also have fewer days of sickness and can cope better with stressors. Why? Because the body has it’s own in-built medicine cabinet; it knows what is best. Decades ago, when we were stationed in Hong Kong, I was first exposed to hatha yoga and the benefit of regular exercise coupled with meditation. My wise yoga tutor Maureen Coleman, gave the class three pieces of advice, which have become my personal wellbeing guidelines:

You are what you eat,
You are only as young as your spine,
Listen to your body.

I recommend this very simple yet sage strategy to you. It has certainly worked for me and mostly likely it will work for you. For my part, I am a stress-free zone and feel well qualified to coach and consult in matters stress related.

Contact me today if you think I can help you - taking action now is all part of your stress solution.

You can comment on the forum on The Confidence Report. Thank you.

How to meet and network with strangers - Travelling Companions

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 15:01:00 GMT

Last week I was travelling back from London and I met a really friendly guy David Waterman, from Lloyds TSB.

We shared our favourite apps. for our iPhones and this super friendly geek even showed me his new iPad! And allowed me to play with it! Whoohoo!

In the passing, David mentioned that he had bought his iPad using the savvy shoppers site http://www.quidco.com/
Now to be fair, my friend and colleague Derek Arden http://www.derekarden.co.uk/ told me ages ago about quidco and I did sign up to use it - just never quite got around to it tho.... until today

However, I will NOW, as David explained that by using Quidco for all his online transactions he and his wife had actually had a cashback of well over £1000.00 this year!

Wow! Guess who just purchased her next train ticket via quidco.com.

Thank you Derek & David! Talking to strangers can indeed be very worthwhile. Savvy shopping!

Eilidh Milnes
Conference Speaker, Writer & Coach